Ask Ala: Friends

Q. Dear Ala,

I am in seventh grade and I don't have many friends. I had a lot of friends in elementary school, but most of them went to Memorial. That on top of Covid-19 is making it difficult for me to talk to the ones that are in North. It is hard for me to socialize because we have to wear masks and socially distance. Do you have any advice to help me make new friends?

Sincerely,

“Too” Socially Distant

A. Hello and thank you for the question!

Making friends in this new environment is definitely something we have to get used to. Firstly, I would advise you to try to still talk to your friends that went to Memorial. You already have a connection, and it would be a shame to just let that go without trying. To make new friends at North, I would join some clubs that interest you, and don’t be afraid to reach out to the people who attend them.  You can check out the Virtual Club Fair channel on the North High School Team and see what clubs you might like.

Hope this helps!

Q. Dear Ala,

My friend and I are starting to fight a lot more often, and it usually ends with us not talking to each other for a while. I always try to avoid arguing, but sometimes we just start to disagree, and disagreeing turns into arguing, and arguing turns into not talking to each other for days on end. How do I avoid fights with my friend so that we don't engage in passive-aggressive bickering almost every day?

From,

Arguing Friend

A. Hello and thank you for the question!

It seems to me that you and your friend have to realize having different opinions is not bad thing. Everyone has different viewpoints on situations and topics, and disagreeing is inevitable. Additionally, when you realize that the “disagreeing” is turning into “arguing,” that might be a good point to take a moment for yourself and calm down. Taking time to sort things out is also not bad, it is actually crucial. Keeping up a relationship, any type, requires work and patience such as talking things out and taking time for yourself. If you are not in the right space, keeping up a friendship is off the list.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Q. Dear Ala,

I'm angry at one of my friends, but I don't know how to let her know. I've tried giving her subtle hints, but she either doesn't notice or doesn't care. Since she can be sensitive sometimes, I'm afraid that if I tell her, she'll take it too much to heart. I just really don't want to ruin the friendship.

Thanks for your help,

Sensitive Friend

A. Hello and thank you for the question!

The best option would be to just confront her about it. Be straightforward with what is bothering you. If the matter is important to you, it will also be important to her. I’m glad you are trying to look out for her and consider the fact that she is sensitive. However, after this much effort, you can’t keep sacrificing your emotions for her. This will be a little bit of a wakeup call for her to pay closer attention to what you are trying to tell her in the future.

Good luck!