Family Problems

Q. Dear Ala, 

I need your help. I want more privacy. My parents don't seem to think that’s important. I also want to tell them that I have bad anxiety, but they don't think it’s real. I am twelve years old and I feel like I am still treated like my 8 year old brother. I was asking for my bedtime to be at 10:00. In my mind that’s reasonable because I still sleep at 9:30 at the same time as my brother. Thanks. 

Sincerely, 

Hello:) 

A. Hi! Thanks for asking! 

I agree, 10:00 pm would be a reasonable time. I would advise you to have a conversation with your parents and explain to them why you believe your bedtime should change. You can prepare a list of reasons for your statement and prepare for how you think they could answer your proposition. In your list you can include all the rationales you put in this letter to me, since they are pretty strong arguments, as well as more if you can think of those. Your parents will most likely think something is important if it is important enough for you to prepare in this way. So, if you put effort into this and show them this would help you, they might change their minds. Also, maybe you could ask them to “make it a rule” that anyone who wants to come in your room must knock first. 

Hope this helps! 

Q. Dear Ala, 

I share a room with my dog and I haven't been able to get much sleep because she snores to loud. I need some advice on how to help me get some better sleep or to try to get her to stop snoring. If you are able to help me that would be greatly appreciated

Sincerely, Cat 

A. Hi Cat! Thank you for asking! 

Hmmm, sleep is important, so solving this problem is important as well. Firstly, I would advise to take your dog to the vet to see if this isn’t happening because of an infection or anything more serious. The vet will definitely try to help you out. You can also try to see if it’s possible if your pet can sleep in the hallway or any other room that is not occupied at night. 

Hope that helps! 

Q. Dear Ala, 

 I was wondering if you can help me with a problem. My sister, who is 19 and away at college, doesn't call me anymore. I want to talk to her, but truly, I don't know what to say or what she would respond back to me. She might not even want her little sister to be texting her. She still treats me like I'm five, but I'm really 14. Please give me some advice. Thank you, Ala! You really will be a big help to me. 

- Little sister issues!  

A. Hi! Thank you for the question! 

I think that the best option for this would be to simply reach out and tell her you want to keep in contact. Ask her how she’s been doing and how the workload is. Be supportive of her decision to go to college. Put together a nice message for her telling her you wouldn’t want the fact that she’s college drift you two apart. 

Hope this helps and good luck! 

~Ala 

Q. Dear Ala, 

My parents won't let me bake in the house anymore because they think that I leave a big mess, but I do clean it up! Do you have any advice on what you think I should do for them to let them let me bake again? Thank you for your time. 

Sincerely, 

Furious Baker 

A. Hi and thank you for the question! 

Baking is such a great passion, keep it up! Ask your parents what part of the kitchen you specifically didn’t clean up to their liking and to give you one more chance to prove yourself. Then, make sure to clean up as you go, and to clean up at the end.  

Glad I could be of help! 

Good luck! 

Q. Dear Ala,

I am in need of some help. I play on the same game console as my brother and we can never come up with a game to play together. Do you have any idea what we should do because it is getting really annoying. Hope you can help. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,

Me

A. Hi! Thanks for the question! 

I don’t really know much about video games, but I asked my friend, and he recommended two games that you might like and are on most current major consoles. The first one is “Rocket League”. It is a multiplayer game that combines racing with soccer. The second one is called “Overcooked!” which is a game designed to play regardless of your skill level. In this game, you and your friends run around a kitchen and try to prepare a meal while being faced with obstacles.  

I hope this helps! 

Q. Dear Ala, 

I have a younger brother, and he won't leave me alone. He finds ways to bother me and when I tell him to stop, he doesn't listen. He always comes into my room and doesn't leave when I tell him to. I hope you can help me find a way to get him to listen when I tell him to stop. Thank you! 

-Bothersome Brother 

A. Hello and thank you for the question! 

Your younger brother is not someone you can just tell what to do and expect him to listen to everything you say. He is still his own person. A good way to approach this would be to talk it out with him. Tell him it is bothersome and ask him if he has a specific reason for coming into your room. There is a possibility he simply wants to be able to spend more time with you but doesn’t know how to express it well.  Then come up with a system like he has to knock and ask you if it’s okay to come in. If you say no, he should not enter. 

Hope that helps and good luck! 

Q. Dear ALA,  

Hello! I have an older sister who is 16 years old. We don't share a room, but her room is right next to mine. When it is 12 midnight, she is on a call with her friends. She makes so much noise, I cannot sleep. When I try to tell my parents, they think I am lying. Can you help me find a way for my parents to believe me? Or can you help me find a way for her to listen and stop? Bye. Have a great day. 

From, 

Younger Sister 

A. Hello and thanks for your question!  

Communication is key, and talking to her about it first would be a great idea. Confront her and tell her why you it is bothering you so much. She might try to brush it off saying that she’s older, but be confident and explain your argument. Calmly explain that how old a person is does not influence this argument. Regarding your parents, you can explain to them the effects the lack of sleep is causing you to show them that what you are saying is true. Be sure to tell them and express your troubles. Maybe if you say it will affect your schoolwork, they will pay more attention to your problem. 

Thank you, have a nice day as well and good luck!